By Darine Ammache, Clinical Psychologist
The Real Reason You Judge People (and How to Stop)
Ever blamed someone’s personality for their behavior, only to later realize it might’ve been the situation they were in? That’s the Fundamental Attribution Error (FAE) at work—a common mental shortcut where we focus too much on who a person is and overlook what they might be dealing with.
What Exactly Is the Fundamental Attribution Error?
It’s simple: when someone acts a certain way, we’re quick to think it’s all about their character (“They’re rude!” or “They’re lazy!”). But we rarely stop to consider the external circumstances that could explain their actions.
For example:
- A colleague misses a deadline? You think, “They’re unorganized,” instead of wondering if they’re overwhelmed.
- Someone cuts you off in traffic? You label them “reckless,” instead of considering they might be rushing to the hospital.
Why Do We Fall for It?
FAE happens because of a mix of human tendencies and cultural influences:
- What We See vs. What We Don’t: People are right in front of us, but their situation isn’t. So, we focus on them, not the unseen circumstances.
- Brain Shortcuts: Blaming personality is quicker and easier than unpacking the full story.
- Cultural Emphasis: In individualistic cultures (like Western ones), there’s a strong focus on personal responsibility, making us more likely to assume it’s “just who they are.”
Everyday Examples of FAE
1- Driving Drama
- Scenario: Another car cuts you off.
- Your Thought: “What a selfish driver!”
- Reality: They might be rushing to an emergency.
2- Office Blame Game
- Scenario: A colleague shows up late to a meeting.
- Your Thought: “They’re so unreliable!”
- Reality: Maybe they were stuck in traffic or dealing with a personal issue.
3- Party Misunderstandings
- Scenario: Someone seems uninterested in chatting with you.
- Your Thought: “They’re rude and unfriendly.”
- Reality: They might be shy, tired, or preoccupied.
How to Avoid Falling Into the FAE Trap
Awareness is the first step! Here’s how you can challenge the FAE:
- Pause Before Judging: Ask yourself if external factors could explain their behavior.
- Get the Full Story: If possible, ask questions to understand their perspective.
- Practice Empathy: Imagine what you’d feel like in their situation.
Why It’s Important
Recognizing the FAE helps you become more understanding and build stronger relationships. By pausing to consider the “why” behind someone’s actions, you’ll find yourself communicating better and fostering empathy.
Next time you feel tempted to judge someone harshly, think: Could there be more to the story?