By Christine Hayek Abi Assaad, UK Accredited Stress Management Therapist
Let’s face it—when it comes to mental health, men have been stuck in the shadows for way too long. The old-school “be tough, don’t cry” rulebook has left men feeling like they have to carry the world on their shoulders without flinching. And the result? A mental health crisis no one talks about enough—higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, and burnout.
Why should men take care of their mental health?
Let’s get real—when men neglect their mental well-being, it doesn’t just stay in their heads. It spills over into relationships, careers, and personal goals. Ever wonder why things feel off even when life looks “fine” on the outside? That’s the mental health red flag waving.
Unchecked mental health struggles can lead to heavy hitters like depression and anxiety, which sap energy, motivation, and joy. But it doesn’t stop there. The mind and body are a package deal—mental health issues can drag your physical health down, too. Think higher risks of heart disease, strokes, and even diabetes.
The takeaway? Taking care of your mental health isn’t just about feeling better in the moment. Because when you’re running on empty, everything else pays the price.
The “Man Up” Trap
Society has boxed men into this unspoken rulebook: be tough, don’t cry, never show weakness. Sure, being strong can be a good thing, but not when it makes asking for help feel like breaking the rules. Men are expected to be the providers, the problem-solvers, the ones who “have it all together.” And if they don’t? Cue shame, isolation, and a spiral of unhealthy coping mechanisms.
What depression looks like for men
Think depression is just sadness and tears? Not for everyone. In men, it often looks like:
- Blowing up over little things.
- Taking dumb risks.
- Drowning in work to avoid feelings.
- Turning to alcohol or drugs for “relief.”
It’s like playing whack-a-mole with symptoms while ignoring the real issue.
What about suicide?
Here’s a gut punch: men are way more likely to die by suicide than women. And it’s not because they struggle more—it’s because they don’t get help. Whether it’s fear of judgment, stigma, or just not knowing where to turn, too many men feel like they’re on their own.
Why aren’t men getting help?
- Society says men should be invincible. Spoiler: they’re not.
- Admitting you’re struggling feels like breaking the “man code.”
- Most guys don’t even know what’s wrong, let alone how to fix it.
- Men often shrug off problems until they’re too big to ignore.
- Depending on where you’re from, therapy might still feel like a four-letter word.
- Many men worry they’ll be seen differently by friends, family, or colleagues if they admit they’re struggling.
- Even when men want help, logistical barriers like cost, time, or knowing where to start can make it feel impossible.
So, what can actually help?
- Forget the stereotypes of lying on a couch spilling your guts. Therapy today is about finding practical tools to tackle your challenges. Virtual options (Online Therapy) make it easy to fit into your life, even if you’re allergic to small talk.
- Talk to someone—anyone—you trust.
- For some, medication like antidepressants or mood stabilizers can help manage symptoms. This is nothing to be ashamed of—it’s just one more tool in the toolbox.
- Support groups sound cheesy, but they’re a game-changer. Connecting with others who “get it” makes you feel less alone and more understood.
- Sure, beer or risky stunts might seem like a release, but there are better ways. Try hitting the gym, learning to meditate (yes, really), or picking up a hobby.
- Learn to recognize red flags like irritability, fatigue, or withdrawing from people.
- Break the “be a man” narrative. Strength is being able to say, “I’m struggling, and that’s okay.”
- It’s not just self-help fluff—getting some exercise, eating decent food, and actually sleeping can make a huge difference.
- The more you talk about mental health, the more normal it becomes. Sharing experiences—whether it’s over coffee with a friend or on social media—can encourage others to do the same.
The world is tough enough without carrying it all alone. So, to the men out there: it’s okay not to be okay. Just don’t stop there—because you deserve better.